Anyone else glad to see the back of January? What a long month! And let’s not mention how cold, wet and windy it was too! I think we have got over the worse though, haven’t we or am I just being optimistic?! It was 515pm before it started getting light last night, don’t know about you but searching for your horse in the field when its pitch black isn’t high up my list of fun things to do especially as you can guarantee that Mikey is at the furthest possible point away from the field gate.

Just before Christmas I had my 6 week review with the surgeon, and got the go ahead to slowly get back to “normal life” post my operation. By 12 weeks he said I should be doing everything and more) that I was doing pre surgery, work, driving, gym and importantly riding!

So January has been a bit a new year new me! Back to work, back to the gym, starting Pilates, and on the dreaded new year diet. All with one goal in mind – to help keep me pain free.

I was excited to get back in the saddle, but one thing I wasn’t expecting was the nerves, I have never really been a nervous rider, and so to feel crippled through fear took me by surprise if I am honest! I have insisted on someone holding on to Mikey and my stirrup each time I get on, and up until this week have had someone stay with me as a safety blanket through my session. I was beating myself up a bit, how come you are so nervous, don’t be silly just get on and do it, all these thoughts going through my head. But, I guess it’s to be expected, after all I have had a pretty serious operation and it seems only sensible that I want to protect myself a bit more than I may of done in previous times! This week I have had a couple of break throughs, the feelings of nerves are becoming less, I even rode on my own – and today went out for a hack, down through the village via a pretty busy main road. So as January ends, the main thing I take from the last few weeks, is that it’s OK to be scared, its OK not to run at 100 miles an hour, after all the saying “Rome wasn’t built in a day” is famous for a reason. Steps forward however small are still steps – and heading in to February I am prepared to take a few more steps in the right direction.